


On my side

by Lubamoon



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Deserved Better, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Happy Ending, Kylo Ren Redemption, POV Ben Solo, POV Rey (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rey Needs A Hug, The Force Ships It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:47:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23117959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lubamoon/pseuds/Lubamoon
Summary: In the shelter of darkness, for as long as it lasted, their lips met timidly at first. Thus they discovered that not all wars are fought on a battlefield with swords and weapons. And in this contest, they both won.This story takes place between The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	On my side

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [De mi lado](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23104831) by [Lubamoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lubamoon/pseuds/Lubamoon). 



> Every day in the Star Wars fandom, and in Reylo in particular, is unique, a rollercoaster of sensations. That's why I came up with this little One-Shot, to bring calm to my heart and the hearts of our dear friends.
> 
> It's the first time I've written something like this, and I'd like to keep doing it, so I appreciate your comments and suggestions.
> 
> It is not the first of these stories published on this platform, in fact all the ones I have read were very inspiring. But in this case, I did it mostly for myself: I needed a sweet spoonful of honey and love.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Meet me [on twitter](https://twitter.com/luubamoon)

* * *

_A shower of sparks surrounded the only two survivors of the battle in the throne room of the Supremacy._ _The red curtains that hid the view of infinite space, soon turned to ashes in a hell of fire, silence and death._

_Outside, the Resistance ships escaped from the First Order into the uncertain refuge of the mineral planet Crait, while being ruthlessly decimated._

_Rey and Kylo Ren had fought and eliminated Snoke's Praetorian Guard together. The Force had done its job well with this pair, guiding them in a dance of Light and Darkness, helping them anticipate the attacks of the enraged soldiers who had watched their leader die._

_There was no need for verbal communication between them. The agreement to protect each other was dictated through their Bond, vibrating like never before in the forced alliance that the common enemy had imposed on them. And that was something they had never allowed to experience before._

_With her emotions running high, Rey had been carried away by the cadence of the Force, defending herself against assaults more with instinct than with training. Thanks to that, she had helped Ren, perceiving his fear when the last guard had him at the edge of the sword._

_And after that, the truce was over._

_Kylo Ren extended a gloved hand towards Rey in a pleading gesture that demanded everything from her but promised nothing of what she wanted. He offered to reign at his side and promised power over the Galaxy, according to his distorted sense of order._

_But the sacrifice she asked for in return was gigantic and impossible for her. It meant losing everything, leaving behind the people who had helped her, those who believed in her. It involved destroying her ideals, everything she and so many others had fought for before. She would lose herself._

_And worst of all: if she accepted his hand, she would lose him._

_The seconds passed slowly and heavy, everything seemed to stop. Rey's eyes filled with tears and Ren's with longing. This was a game of powers, and no one was willing to budge._

_She wanted to take his hand. But she just couldn't accept it that way._

* * *

Rey was jolted awake in Ajan Kloss, where the Resistance had its new headquarters. A cold layer of sweat covered his skin despite the low temperatures. She sat up on the bed slowly, as if her body weighed more than it should. The loose hair on her shoulders gave her a different look, so much so that she didn't recognize herself in the mirror without her usual three bows.

The same dream of so many other nights. The memory, turned into torment and nightmare, showed her the moment when everything could have changed over and over again. Did that really depend on her? Had she made the right decision?

She had to reject him, because there was no other option. Although she felt that by doing this she betrayed him, denying him her help, leaving him in the dark as they had all done to him throughout his life. But Rey couldn't accept Kylo Ren's terms, not like that. No, for that she would have to be overcome by darkness.

And then, when she had a chance to eliminate him, as he lay unconscious from the lightsaber explosion, why hadn't she? Kylo Ren's life was not her to take, she didn't want to. Perhaps out of mercy, perhaps for another reason. Perhaps she felt compassion for him, who in a short time had managed to make an indelible impression on her.

Rey had sensed Ben Solo's feelings through Kylo Ren. In other words, she had found reason to believe in Ren's redemption thanks to the complexity of his emotions, the conflict of a person who had not been born in the dark but had been manipulated by it from the beginning. Unlike Leia, Rey didn’t lose hope in Ben yet.

Quite a long time had passed, but Rey couldn't stop thinking about it. Truthfully, she was afraid to see him again. Her emotions regarding him had never been more confused.

The Force had also not summoned them as in the previous links.

Except that time, after the siege of Crait, when the diminished Resistance escaped in the Millennium Falcon thanks to Luke's sacrifice.

Kylo Ren looked devastated, defeated, wounded in his pride by rejection, perhaps.

Neither of them said anything at the time. Rey closed the door of the ship and with that gesture also cut off communication with him. But she did not remember feeling fear or compassion. She had blamed herself for believing in him, for going looking for him and thinking she could bring him back. But she had also wished for more time, she would have liked to meet him in totally different circumstances, even without sharing the Force bond.

Ben not only knew her because of that particularity, something linked them beyond all. Their lives had not been so different after all and that was another thing they shared, they both knew how heartbreaking loneliness could be.

Rey walked to her bedroom window and curled up on the windowsill, looking outside. It was still dark but some lights filtered through the slits in the protective panel. That particular night was unlike so many others, she could feel it in her bones. But she had learned to be patient, to let her will not take over, and to be an instrument of the Force.

She took a deep breath as she waited for something to happen. She knew that soon something would change.

* * *

Light years away, Kylo Ren woke up too.

The exhaustion of being the Supreme Leader of the First Order was so intense physically and mentally that some nights he couldn't even sleep. He told himself that he didn't need rest, anyway. The obsession consumed him and that translated into the dark shadows under his eyes. The pale skin of her face was sickly in contrast to her dark, unruly black hair. Being weak was not an option.

After getting up, he sat down on the bunk, yanking the sheets aside. The room was dark but he knew he hadn't slept too much and that no one would disturb him in his barracks anyway while he was there.

Unless they were under attack or everything was crumpling on itself. And he would know before, of course.

He had dreamed of her again.

He clenched his fists tightly and allowed himself to be overcome by fury as he always did when it came to Rey. But for some reason he couldn't feel better. She never managed to feel better, but she was content to bury her feelings under the mask of hatred and anger.

The dream was always the same. He saw before him all the events of the battle, all the emotions involved. She felt Rey and her determination, the frustration of not being able to get hold of her, the rejection, the anger, the anguish. And it was because he knew the recesses of the Force that he could understand Rey's feelings but was far from accepting them.

He had offered her everything and she had not taken his hand.

But he was not surprised. Rey considered him a monster, after all. And what could I expect? He had murdered his father and caused the death of his uncle, without counting the thousands of innocent lives that stained his hands with blood.

She was like the others, confirming what he had always been. Like his parents, when they argued about him, thinking he couldn't hear them. Like Luke, when he had tried to murder him in his sleep. Rey was no different.

And yet ...

Kylo Ren made the mistake of believing in her, of believing that they were the same. Rey had unbalanced him, although in reality what he did was to rekindle a small flame that burned deep inside him and that he constantly tried to stifle.

He hated her because it had allowed him to hope for himself. But there was none, there was no way to go back. And Kylo knew it.

Despite everything, he longed to see her again, he wanted to vent his own frustration with her, remind her and remind himself that there was no salvation, that one of them was going to lose. And it wasn't going to be him.

The exhilarating vision of facing her in battle seemed compelling. He wanted to see Rey's eyes burning with fury and hatred, because in them he saw himself reflected as the despicable being he was, reinforcing the image of fearsome and untamed leader.

He imagined her blaming him for his crimes, confronting him to save the miserable Resistance, feeding in her the same hatred that he felt for everything and everyone.

But for some reason none of these scenarios gave him the pleasure he was looking for. Something inside him fragmented threatened to start to break completely.

Rey was unreachable and his place had always been that of Light. That was what made her unique, his greatest rival, his enemy. But also his other half, the balance, the powerful Light that is the counterweight to an equally powerful Darkness.

Ever since he felt that she was sensitive and powerful to the Force, Ren's desire had been to extinguish every ray of hope in her, every trace of Light. He wanted to completely transform it as a reminder of the inevitable: nothing could compare to the power of Darkness.

But in the dream, in the throne room, and also in Ahch-To, the feelings she inspired for him were not the same. For some reason he imagined that she would take his hand and agree to rule the Galaxy alongside him. Was that what he wanted for her?

The idea overwhelmed him completely. He was so sure of the rejection that he never imagined what he would do next if she accepted it. In his mind a thought of determination came to life: He didn't want the same thing to happen to Rey as it did to him. She was valuable, she didn't deserve it. He couldn't do that to her.

As if the thought came from afar, but with the certainty of the irrefutable, Kylo Ren gasped. There was absolutely no way he wanted that for her.

His was a separate case, he had no choice.

Rey would not fall into darkness. She also felt fury, loneliness and anguish for what she had never had, her life had not been fair and despite everything, she had managed to ascend.

She had not stopped believing in him. In Ben Solo. Even if she only felt compassion for him, being on the same side as Rey was something worth fighting for. And the only possible way was for him to convert.

He felt tired, his life as Kylo Ren was ash in his mouth. Power? Why did he want it if it didn't serve to have her by his side?

For the first time in a long time, so much that he couldn't pin down, he really wanted to be Ben.

He felt alive, he had a new purpose.

* * *

  
Rey had not forgotten the way the Force vibrated to create the bond, predisposing her and Ben to participate. Nor was she unaware of the presence that watched her intensely, very close behind her. She felt his characteristic signature, his movements, his emotions.

He was there.

And yet Rey was not afraid. Something had changed.

She didn't dare look yet because she knew she would surrender to him. She was sure then that she would have taken her hand, Ben's hand.

He was approaching slowly, she could feel his fear because it was also hers.

Ben stared at the figure of Rey huddled in the window and felt something inside him die. He was to blame for everything, he was responsible for her hating him.

Her loose sleepwear and untied hair made her look like a goddess, vulnerable, incredible and strong. But not that of the warrior he had come to know.

The idea of triggering the link to be able to see her seemed wrong at that moment. She was going to reject him again. What did he have to offer her? He had taken everything from her.

Rey felt Ben's shifting emotions behind her. She sensed doubt and pain, but did not know how to react to that. Maybe it was all a big mistake, a wrong assumption, a trap.

She turned slowly to her feet, her gaze still low on the ground. It was dark so she could barely see him in the shadows. Undoubtedly he was there. Not as Kylo Ren, but as Ben Solo.

When their gazes finally met, they both knew that they would no longer fight as adversaries. Their destiny was to fight together and they would have to face other battles.

"Ben." Rey's murmur was only for him and he felt it as the sound ran through his tortured body as an invitation, a sign of acceptance, a promise.

They didn't need to say anything else, they knew each other deeply. And it had always been that way.

He approached slowly, one step at a time. She remembered that time in Ahch-To when their hands met and the sensation of electricity running through their bodies.

Rey was amazed by the miracle. Although she knew that everything could change from one moment to another, neither of them handled the designs of the Force at will. Or so she believed.

But right now they were face to face and getting closer. They did not allow themselves to think about the future because for now they only had that moment.

She let Ben take her hand gently when they were only inches away and lifted her face to him. Despite the gloom, they both seemed to glow with renewed emotion. Rey was showing him the first step on the way home.

With the other hand, Rey searched Ben's face in the dark, recognizing him, running her fingers over him with fascination.

He couldn't breathe, knowing he was welcomed but still fearing rejection. He wanted her to know that nothing could change his past, and that was him: a man torn apart and reassembled, incomplete, unstable, imperfect.

As if listening to her thoughts, Rey remembered how much she liked finding treasures in the rubble, how she kept them in her backpack and took them home. How much she enjoyed fixing what was broken and the joy of making them work again. She thought tenderly that she could fix Ben.

In the shelter of darkness, for as long as it lasted, their lips met timidly at first. Thus they discovered that not all wars are fought on a battlefield with swords and weapons. And in this contest, they both won.

The caresses were deepened little by little and naturally. Both gave themselves permission to explore sensations that they had never experienced before and that they had put aside due to the urgency of being enemies.

Ben parted a little from Rey, still bowing to her, taking her face in both hands in a gesture of infinite tenderness. And love. She was his savior.

Rey couldn't help but smile, as the darkness slowly faded giving way to the new day. The morning progressed slowly as they continued in their world apart. The happiness she felt threatened to drive her crazy.

Their bodies melted into perfect harmony, giving rise to a desire as deep as it was pure, overwhelmed by a need as simple and real as that of feeling loved.

Ben asked without speaking and Rey granted him permission. In her life she had never felt so sure of something like then.

The peace pact was sealed with an act of love and passion, the first of many.

That night they were both reborn.

Still looking at each other adoringly, their hands were still clasped even after the shared moment. Rey rested on Ben's chest, snuggled in his arms. Light was already flooding the room as a reminder of the reward, the prize of the victors of the battle.

There was still much to talk about, many lives at stake. The future was not going to be easy for either of them. Nothing guaranteed the support of their friends.

The other war, the one that seemed so far away now, was not over.

But they were sure of one thing: they would fight on the same side. They could already be considered victorious.


End file.
